[The suspicion exists, nestled away in the back of her mind, and slowly clawing its way to the surface as they discuss Steve and Billy. She watches for his reactions, asks her questions, and monitors how he responds to them. His responses are all clues, pieces that she puts together to create a clearer image. She's always buried her suspicions, stifling them only because he'd started to date El. In her head, that meant he liked girls, not guys. But then, she thought Steve liked girls too. This new knowledge brings old suspicions to light, helps them blossom and bloom. She's vaguely aware of bisexuality, but she barely gives it a thought.
Until now.]
And that's how it should be. Telling someone they can't marry because of who they love is bullshit. [She says. A smile brightens her features for just a second before changing into something more serious. More thoughtful.]
Is there... something else you want to tell me? You can talk to me... I promise.
[And if he gets defensive, she'll quickly fall back, make excuses. Argue again, probably.]
[Months ago, when the weather was cold but their house was still full and warm and loud, Mike had decided he was done with secrets. They'd decided it together, really, him and Will, trading nervous words over text: there was nothing to hide, nothing they wanted to hide, and they were ready to let their friends see this wonderful thing they'd built. Even then, Mike had hardly given thought to what it meant. It's one thing to proudly announce your happy relationship, then brush past the implication like it's nothing. It's another to look someone in the eye and tell them the truth.
Normally, he wouldn't think twice about lying, and especially not to Nancy. It's almost second nature, an instinct more than a habit. He could tell her she's crazy, stomp his way upstairs, and then- what? Go on dropping Will's hand every time they enter a room? Watch Nancy squint at him, infuriating and knowing, now that she's picked up the track? It's already all over his face, in the growing silence before his answer.]
Why do you think I don't want to go home?
[He scrunches even farther down in his chair, trying to make himself small. Even his voice, usually too loud for every situation, is uncharacteristically timid. This isn't the kid who fights monsters, or risks his life for his friends - it's the one who came home sobbing the night a body got pulled out of the quarry. It's the one who sat alone in a blanket fort every night for a year, lonely and paralyzed.]
Mike's words linger in the air -- in the silence of that dining room -- for longer than Nancy feels they should. She thinks about those words, feels the immense weight of them on her own heart and mind as she repeats them in her head. There's a sinking feeling present in her gut because she doesn't want to consider that Mike might be correct (to a degree). She doesn't want to believe that their parents might react with anger. With shock. She's scrambling, trying to guess how they might react based on past experiences. None of those experiences were ever quite as significant as this. She imagines their mother reacting with confusion, trying to understand but failing. She imagines both of them not taking the time to really listen, saying things in the heat of the moment that only serve to wound. And Nancy would be there, trying to pick up all the pieces.
There's no disgust present in Nancy, no horror reflected in her wide and contemplative gaze. Somehow, this news makes sense to her. It explains her brother's anger, his awkwardness. There's a look on her face, like someone who has finally solved some great puzzle. It's mixed with pity and sadness; he suddenly looks so much younger. So powerless and unsure.]
They... [She cuts herself off, sighs. For a moment, she just looks at him all scrunched up in that chair, and wishes she could do more to ease his fears.] They won't hate you. They don't always understand, but they love and care about you. They're not going to stop loving you just because you're gay. I know they won't.
I'm not gay, I- [It's possible that his face has never been more flushed. Restless and fraught, he wrings his fingers until the knuckles go white, eyes still cast resolutely away from his sister.] I still- I mean, I like girls too, I think, but-
[He's floundering, losing grip of the plot with each sputtered word. Part of him wants to refute Nancy, to rail back against their parents and heap proof on her that they don't care, that they haven't cared in ages. But instead, he finds himself hanging onto her words, starting to imagine them. What if? What if she's right, and there's actually a future like that? His parents' love and this incredible, terrifying thing that he's discovered here?
Mike sniffs, and his nose aches. He hadn't realized his eyes were damp.]
No one back home's gonna know the difference. You know what it's like.
[And Nancy listens, without judgment or disgust. Without intervening with questions or opinions of her own. Sometimes she's terrible at listening to others, and she knows it. There are times where she easily drowns out everyone else's voices and feelings because she's so focused on getting her own opinions and thoughts out there into the world. This isn't that time. Silently, she reaches for a tissue and wipes at a drop of blood coming from his nose.
I like girls too, he says, and she nods. The confusion on her face is fleeting, quickly replaced by an expression of understanding. She takes that little fragment of information and tucks it away somewhere safe, with everything else she's found out over the past couple of days. Everything he tells her is safe. Protected. She won't tell a soul, but she will surely defend him against anyone who finds out and reacts adversely. Next to Mike, with his flushed face and his floundering, Nancy is a calming presence.]
Yeah. I do. There are a lot of assholes back home, and they won't even try to understand. Thankfully some of us grow up, and we realize that people are all different. We're... diverse. The assholes who don't grow up, who hold on to these... narrow viewpoints? They aren't even worth knowing.
[She reaches out to place her hand on top of his in the hopes that it might help. She sees him wringing his fingers, sees his discomfort and restlessness, and she wants to help ease his mind. She knows she can't take all of his anxieties away, but she hopes she can help at least.]
You have my support. And you'll have mom and dad's support too. And if anyone gives you any shit, they'll have me to deal with.
[And she means that with all her heart. Nancy's wrath is not something the narrow-minded people of Hawkins want to face.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-06-16 11:34 pm (UTC)Until now.]
And that's how it should be. Telling someone they can't marry because of who they love is bullshit. [She says. A smile brightens her features for just a second before changing into something more serious. More thoughtful.]
Is there... something else you want to tell me? You can talk to me... I promise.
[And if he gets defensive, she'll quickly fall back, make excuses. Argue again, probably.]
no subject
Date: 2021-06-20 04:11 am (UTC)Normally, he wouldn't think twice about lying, and especially not to Nancy. It's almost second nature, an instinct more than a habit. He could tell her she's crazy, stomp his way upstairs, and then- what? Go on dropping Will's hand every time they enter a room? Watch Nancy squint at him, infuriating and knowing, now that she's picked up the track? It's already all over his face, in the growing silence before his answer.]
Why do you think I don't want to go home?
[He scrunches even farther down in his chair, trying to make himself small. Even his voice, usually too loud for every situation, is uncharacteristically timid. This isn't the kid who fights monsters, or risks his life for his friends - it's the one who came home sobbing the night a body got pulled out of the quarry. It's the one who sat alone in a blanket fort every night for a year, lonely and paralyzed.]
Mom and Dad'll hate me.
CW: implied homophobia
Date: 2021-06-21 01:20 pm (UTC)Mike's words linger in the air -- in the silence of that dining room -- for longer than Nancy feels they should. She thinks about those words, feels the immense weight of them on her own heart and mind as she repeats them in her head. There's a sinking feeling present in her gut because she doesn't want to consider that Mike might be correct (to a degree). She doesn't want to believe that their parents might react with anger. With shock. She's scrambling, trying to guess how they might react based on past experiences. None of those experiences were ever quite as significant as this. She imagines their mother reacting with confusion, trying to understand but failing. She imagines both of them not taking the time to really listen, saying things in the heat of the moment that only serve to wound. And Nancy would be there, trying to pick up all the pieces.
There's no disgust present in Nancy, no horror reflected in her wide and contemplative gaze. Somehow, this news makes sense to her. It explains her brother's anger, his awkwardness. There's a look on her face, like someone who has finally solved some great puzzle. It's mixed with pity and sadness; he suddenly looks so much younger. So powerless and unsure.]
They... [She cuts herself off, sighs. For a moment, she just looks at him all scrunched up in that chair, and wishes she could do more to ease his fears.] They won't hate you. They don't always understand, but they love and care about you. They're not going to stop loving you just because you're gay. I know they won't.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-22 04:35 am (UTC)[He's floundering, losing grip of the plot with each sputtered word. Part of him wants to refute Nancy, to rail back against their parents and heap proof on her that they don't care, that they haven't cared in ages. But instead, he finds himself hanging onto her words, starting to imagine them. What if? What if she's right, and there's actually a future like that? His parents' love and this incredible, terrifying thing that he's discovered here?
Mike sniffs, and his nose aches. He hadn't realized his eyes were damp.]
No one back home's gonna know the difference. You know what it's like.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-30 01:09 am (UTC)I like girls too, he says, and she nods. The confusion on her face is fleeting, quickly replaced by an expression of understanding. She takes that little fragment of information and tucks it away somewhere safe, with everything else she's found out over the past couple of days. Everything he tells her is safe. Protected. She won't tell a soul, but she will surely defend him against anyone who finds out and reacts adversely. Next to Mike, with his flushed face and his floundering, Nancy is a calming presence.]
Yeah. I do. There are a lot of assholes back home, and they won't even try to understand. Thankfully some of us grow up, and we realize that people are all different. We're... diverse. The assholes who don't grow up, who hold on to these... narrow viewpoints? They aren't even worth knowing.
[She reaches out to place her hand on top of his in the hopes that it might help. She sees him wringing his fingers, sees his discomfort and restlessness, and she wants to help ease his mind. She knows she can't take all of his anxieties away, but she hopes she can help at least.]
You have my support. And you'll have mom and dad's support too. And if anyone gives you any shit, they'll have me to deal with.
[And she means that with all her heart. Nancy's wrath is not something the narrow-minded people of Hawkins want to face.]