[He shakes his head, then regrets it as his sore nose shifts against the wrapped ice.]
No. I know what a concussion feels like. [The last time he got one, he skateboarded off a roof on a dare. Nancy is absolutely not hearing about that. Or seeing the video footage.] And Will already checked my eyes.
[They're practically experts at assessing each other's injuries, by now.]
I'm sixteen. [He blurts it out, a bit reluctant and a bit sheepish.] There's just nowhere to get a license, here. But I'm old enough to drive, okay?
[Mike, why do you know what a concussion feels like? That earns him a concerned frown, but she doesn't say anything. Not now. Further down the track, she might ask him about it, but that's a conversation for another time. She reminds herself --again-- to thank Will later for looking out for him. She keeps her voice even and calm for Mike, not wanting to argue.]
I know. But it takes a lot of time and practice. I only just got my license, and I'm... seventeen. Eighteen soon.
[They are now a lot closer in age,, and that's just really weird to her. What is time in Deerington? She wipes the blood from his nose, taking care not to hurt him.]
Look. Let me help you. I'll give you some lessons, okay?
[Part of him, stubborn and pessimistic, wants to argue. He wants to tell her that it hardly even matters anymore, that the roads are getting torn up and no one's left to fix them, and pretty soon getting around by car - or even bike - is going to be impossible. But then she reaches up, brushes a knuckle under his nose, and something in his chest goes still.]
... Okay.
[Nancy's voice shouldn't be gentle. She should still be shouting at him, telling him he's stupid, telling him he's reckless. But she isn't. She's wiping the blood from his face, offering him help. It drains the fight right out of him, and, unconsciously, he sags towards her just a bit.]
We'll have to grab another car. ["Grab", not "buy". The dealership hasn't been functional for awhile now.] Billy'd come back and haunt me if I tried to drive his.
[She is trying so hard to be kinder to Mike, to be gentler. She's listening to Mrs. Byers' advice and trying to act on it, and as much as she wants to continue to shout at him, she knows it'll get them nowhere. Dragging it out will probably result in one of them leaving, and Mike might not come to her for help in the future. In a place like Deerington, it seems unwise to push him away. She's had her moment of panicked anger, and that should be enough.
She still thinks he's an idiot.
She gently pinches the soft part of his nose, holding it with a clean tissue to try and stop the bleeding.]
Yeah, let's... not touch that one. [Not because she's worried about the ghost of Billy or anything. Taking his car just doesn't feel right.] If he came back, I feel like he'd just know that we'd touched it. Like Dad and the TV remote.
[The side of Mike's mouth quirks up for just a second in half of a wry smile. Not a pleasant memory from home, exactly, but it's warm. It's neutral, uncomplicated, tinged with the blue light of their living room television.]
He wasn't all bad. Billy, I mean. [Their dad wasn't enough of anything to be bad.] It sucks what happens to him.
[He was a raging asshole, sure, but he'd sort of become family. Mike would be lying if he said he didn't miss the guy buffaloing around the house like a drunk rock star.]
Steve sort of- made him better. [Well, to a degree.] Made him want to be better.
[Billy always seemed like a huge asshole to Nancy, but she'd never wish that on him. She wouldn't wish that fate on anyone. When she looks at Mike, something questioning and unsure flashes in Nancy's eyes for just a moment. Time works strangely in Deerington, and she knows the boys and Joyce are from an earlier time. Thus, she's refrained from talking about 1985, keeping it all to herself. She's unsure about how much they know, and she doesn't want to frighten or upset them. The fact that Mike knows about Billy tells her that he might actually know what happens in the future. In 'her' year.
Uncertainty quickly turns into surprise. She silently stares at Mike for a moment and then frowns.]
Steve? Really?
[She knows he was an asshole to Steve, so this is Surprising New Information.]
[For a moment, Mike pauses. He chews on his lip, eyes cast suspiciously to one side. Gee, wow, the dining room wall sure is very interesting tonight, don't you think? Isn't the wallpaper very... wallpapery?]
Yyyyeah? [Great job. Very natural.] They got, uh. Close.
[But the thing is, it's not like it was a secret. They never made any effort to cover up what they were doing, or what they were. Hell, Mike learned about it from Steve's DeerlyBeloved profile, of all things. And Nancy still cares about Steve, right? Would she be more pissed to learn he was... like that, or that she'd been lied to about it?
And no, Mike certainly isn't thinking about using this as a test to see if she'd accept him, at some point in the future. Absolutely not. This is 100% about Steve and Billy. Which is why, after a few seconds, he takes a deep breath and says in a voice far smaller than he'd hoped: ] Like, a couple.
[Nancy watches and wonders why Mike suddenly can't look her in the eye. She removes the ice pack from his face, carefully setting it down whilst awaiting his answer. She's watching him very carefully, which most definitely isn't helping, but her mind is trying to piece things together. Trying to guess correctly before Mike even tells her.
And then Mike tells her that Steve and Billy were a couple, and she freezes for a moment, looking at him like she doesn't believe what he's saying. She's genuinely confused because Steve had been dating her up until somewhat recently. Unless he'd been lying to himself, the way she had lied to herself to fit in. If that's true, then she feels sorry for him. Hawkins was... not exactly an open-minded place, and life was easier if you just acted the way people wanted you to act. It was -- and always would be -- bullshit. Her look of disbelief changes eventually, softening into something quieter and more thoughtful.]
No way.
[She says, definitely noticing how flushed Mike's face looks right now. She can see he's uncomfortable with the subject matter, but she doesn't know the real reason why.]
[Pink and nervous as his face is, there's something carefully earnest behind it when Mike looks up at her, like he's tracking her every word, listening and analyzing and categorizing.]
... Yeah. [Soft, and then stronger: ] Yeah, he was. They- they were.
[He reaches up and musses his hair, a nervous tic; his fingers pluck out a pebble of grey asphalt, and fiddle with it almost pointedly, like he's searching for a distraction.]
You're- [Wow, why is his mouth so dry? Has it ever been this dry in his life? What if he just dies of thirst, right here in the dining room? Could he do that, please?] -okay? With it?
[She doesn’t answer Mike immediately, still recovering from the initial shock. Nancy – who is always so perceptive and observant – did not see this coming at all. She hadn’t the faintest idea that Steve liked guys, but that just means he hid it really well. And with Hawkins being the way it is, she can’t blame him for keeping it a secret from everyone. She’s surprised, but she knows in her heart that she’s okay with it. There’s no disgust or horror in her stance or her gaze. Just surprise, followed by quiet contemplation. It may not have worked out between Steve and Nancy, but he’s a good guy and she respects his ability to be true to himself, instead of hiding. She’s lied to herself too, pretending to be someone she wasn’t just to fit in, and it hurt her in the end. It may have felt safer but it also didn’t feel right. Nancy knows her situation is vastly different from Steve’s but she can still relate. And even though he isn’t here, she supports him.]
Yeah. [Like Mike, it’s soft. Then it’s stronger:] Yeah, of course. If they were happy, then that’s all that matters.
[She crosses her arms, still watching Mike. She can see he's nervous, but she still interprets it as him being embarrassed. She has no idea that he’s analyzing her.]
I guess this place gave them both the opportunity to be themselves. [Her thoughtful words are followed by a frown.]
[The question startles him. Somehow, he thought that the second he brought up the topic, she'd just know. She'd see something in his eyes, something anxious and trembling, and whether or not she accepted Steve - cool, magnetic Steve - a lifetime of her annoying brother being a freakish outcast would slide into place.
He nods too quickly.]
Yeah. I'm- it's great.
[His face has gone even warmer, up to the tips of his ears, and he looks over at the scuffed, dinged wall behind their chairs.]
My friend said- [It's weird, calling Wade his friend. He was family, more like a dad than their own sometimes is.] It's better when he's from, in the future. When we're adults. Like, people can even get married and stuff.
[He flashes his eyes to Nancy for half a heartbeat, gauging something he's too anxious to name.]
[The suspicion exists, nestled away in the back of her mind, and slowly clawing its way to the surface as they discuss Steve and Billy. She watches for his reactions, asks her questions, and monitors how he responds to them. His responses are all clues, pieces that she puts together to create a clearer image. She's always buried her suspicions, stifling them only because he'd started to date El. In her head, that meant he liked girls, not guys. But then, she thought Steve liked girls too. This new knowledge brings old suspicions to light, helps them blossom and bloom. She's vaguely aware of bisexuality, but she barely gives it a thought.
Until now.]
And that's how it should be. Telling someone they can't marry because of who they love is bullshit. [She says. A smile brightens her features for just a second before changing into something more serious. More thoughtful.]
Is there... something else you want to tell me? You can talk to me... I promise.
[And if he gets defensive, she'll quickly fall back, make excuses. Argue again, probably.]
[Months ago, when the weather was cold but their house was still full and warm and loud, Mike had decided he was done with secrets. They'd decided it together, really, him and Will, trading nervous words over text: there was nothing to hide, nothing they wanted to hide, and they were ready to let their friends see this wonderful thing they'd built. Even then, Mike had hardly given thought to what it meant. It's one thing to proudly announce your happy relationship, then brush past the implication like it's nothing. It's another to look someone in the eye and tell them the truth.
Normally, he wouldn't think twice about lying, and especially not to Nancy. It's almost second nature, an instinct more than a habit. He could tell her she's crazy, stomp his way upstairs, and then- what? Go on dropping Will's hand every time they enter a room? Watch Nancy squint at him, infuriating and knowing, now that she's picked up the track? It's already all over his face, in the growing silence before his answer.]
Why do you think I don't want to go home?
[He scrunches even farther down in his chair, trying to make himself small. Even his voice, usually too loud for every situation, is uncharacteristically timid. This isn't the kid who fights monsters, or risks his life for his friends - it's the one who came home sobbing the night a body got pulled out of the quarry. It's the one who sat alone in a blanket fort every night for a year, lonely and paralyzed.]
Mike's words linger in the air -- in the silence of that dining room -- for longer than Nancy feels they should. She thinks about those words, feels the immense weight of them on her own heart and mind as she repeats them in her head. There's a sinking feeling present in her gut because she doesn't want to consider that Mike might be correct (to a degree). She doesn't want to believe that their parents might react with anger. With shock. She's scrambling, trying to guess how they might react based on past experiences. None of those experiences were ever quite as significant as this. She imagines their mother reacting with confusion, trying to understand but failing. She imagines both of them not taking the time to really listen, saying things in the heat of the moment that only serve to wound. And Nancy would be there, trying to pick up all the pieces.
There's no disgust present in Nancy, no horror reflected in her wide and contemplative gaze. Somehow, this news makes sense to her. It explains her brother's anger, his awkwardness. There's a look on her face, like someone who has finally solved some great puzzle. It's mixed with pity and sadness; he suddenly looks so much younger. So powerless and unsure.]
They... [She cuts herself off, sighs. For a moment, she just looks at him all scrunched up in that chair, and wishes she could do more to ease his fears.] They won't hate you. They don't always understand, but they love and care about you. They're not going to stop loving you just because you're gay. I know they won't.
I'm not gay, I- [It's possible that his face has never been more flushed. Restless and fraught, he wrings his fingers until the knuckles go white, eyes still cast resolutely away from his sister.] I still- I mean, I like girls too, I think, but-
[He's floundering, losing grip of the plot with each sputtered word. Part of him wants to refute Nancy, to rail back against their parents and heap proof on her that they don't care, that they haven't cared in ages. But instead, he finds himself hanging onto her words, starting to imagine them. What if? What if she's right, and there's actually a future like that? His parents' love and this incredible, terrifying thing that he's discovered here?
Mike sniffs, and his nose aches. He hadn't realized his eyes were damp.]
No one back home's gonna know the difference. You know what it's like.
[And Nancy listens, without judgment or disgust. Without intervening with questions or opinions of her own. Sometimes she's terrible at listening to others, and she knows it. There are times where she easily drowns out everyone else's voices and feelings because she's so focused on getting her own opinions and thoughts out there into the world. This isn't that time. Silently, she reaches for a tissue and wipes at a drop of blood coming from his nose.
I like girls too, he says, and she nods. The confusion on her face is fleeting, quickly replaced by an expression of understanding. She takes that little fragment of information and tucks it away somewhere safe, with everything else she's found out over the past couple of days. Everything he tells her is safe. Protected. She won't tell a soul, but she will surely defend him against anyone who finds out and reacts adversely. Next to Mike, with his flushed face and his floundering, Nancy is a calming presence.]
Yeah. I do. There are a lot of assholes back home, and they won't even try to understand. Thankfully some of us grow up, and we realize that people are all different. We're... diverse. The assholes who don't grow up, who hold on to these... narrow viewpoints? They aren't even worth knowing.
[She reaches out to place her hand on top of his in the hopes that it might help. She sees him wringing his fingers, sees his discomfort and restlessness, and she wants to help ease his mind. She knows she can't take all of his anxieties away, but she hopes she can help at least.]
You have my support. And you'll have mom and dad's support too. And if anyone gives you any shit, they'll have me to deal with.
[And she means that with all her heart. Nancy's wrath is not something the narrow-minded people of Hawkins want to face.]
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2021-05-12 04:06 am (UTC)No. I know what a concussion feels like. [The last time he got one, he skateboarded off a roof on a dare. Nancy is absolutely not hearing about that. Or seeing the video footage.] And Will already checked my eyes.
[They're practically experts at assessing each other's injuries, by now.]
I'm sixteen. [He blurts it out, a bit reluctant and a bit sheepish.] There's just nowhere to get a license, here. But I'm old enough to drive, okay?
no subject
Date: 2021-05-25 01:36 am (UTC)I know. But it takes a lot of time and practice. I only just got my license, and I'm... seventeen. Eighteen soon.
[They are now a lot closer in age,, and that's just really weird to her. What is time in Deerington? She wipes the blood from his nose, taking care not to hurt him.]
Look. Let me help you. I'll give you some lessons, okay?
no subject
Date: 2021-05-25 09:28 pm (UTC)... Okay.
[Nancy's voice shouldn't be gentle. She should still be shouting at him, telling him he's stupid, telling him he's reckless. But she isn't. She's wiping the blood from his face, offering him help. It drains the fight right out of him, and, unconsciously, he sags towards her just a bit.]
We'll have to grab another car. ["Grab", not "buy". The dealership hasn't been functional for awhile now.] Billy'd come back and haunt me if I tried to drive his.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-30 10:40 pm (UTC)She still thinks he's an idiot.
She gently pinches the soft part of his nose, holding it with a clean tissue to try and stop the bleeding.]
Yeah, let's... not touch that one. [Not because she's worried about the ghost of Billy or anything. Taking his car just doesn't feel right.] If he came back, I feel like he'd just know that we'd touched it. Like Dad and the TV remote.
no subject
Date: 2021-05-31 12:38 am (UTC)He wasn't all bad. Billy, I mean. [Their dad wasn't enough of anything to be bad.] It sucks what happens to him.
[He was a raging asshole, sure, but he'd sort of become family. Mike would be lying if he said he didn't miss the guy buffaloing around the house like a drunk rock star.]
Steve sort of- made him better. [Well, to a degree.] Made him want to be better.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-01 02:10 am (UTC)[Billy always seemed like a huge asshole to Nancy, but she'd never wish that on him. She wouldn't wish that fate on anyone. When she looks at Mike, something questioning and unsure flashes in Nancy's eyes for just a moment. Time works strangely in Deerington, and she knows the boys and Joyce are from an earlier time. Thus, she's refrained from talking about 1985, keeping it all to herself. She's unsure about how much they know, and she doesn't want to frighten or upset them. The fact that Mike knows about Billy tells her that he might actually know what happens in the future. In 'her' year.
Uncertainty quickly turns into surprise. She silently stares at Mike for a moment and then frowns.]
Steve? Really?
[She knows he was an asshole to Steve, so this is Surprising New Information.]
no subject
Date: 2021-06-05 04:21 pm (UTC)Yyyyeah? [Great job. Very natural.] They got, uh. Close.
[But the thing is, it's not like it was a secret. They never made any effort to cover up what they were doing, or what they were. Hell, Mike learned about it from Steve's DeerlyBeloved profile, of all things. And Nancy still cares about Steve, right? Would she be more pissed to learn he was... like that, or that she'd been lied to about it?
And no, Mike certainly isn't thinking about using this as a test to see if she'd accept him, at some point in the future. Absolutely not. This is 100% about Steve and Billy. Which is why, after a few seconds, he takes a deep breath and says in a voice far smaller than he'd hoped: ] Like, a couple.
[Why is his face so hot?]
CW: homophobia, peer pressure
Date: 2021-06-13 11:42 am (UTC)And then Mike tells her that Steve and Billy were a couple, and she freezes for a moment, looking at him like she doesn't believe what he's saying. She's genuinely confused because Steve had been dating her up until somewhat recently. Unless he'd been lying to himself, the way she had lied to herself to fit in. If that's true, then she feels sorry for him. Hawkins was... not exactly an open-minded place, and life was easier if you just acted the way people wanted you to act. It was -- and always would be -- bullshit. Her look of disbelief changes eventually, softening into something quieter and more thoughtful.]
No way.
[She says, definitely noticing how flushed Mike's face looks right now. She can see he's uncomfortable with the subject matter, but she doesn't know the real reason why.]
Shit. I... had no idea.
[A pause. She shakes her head.]
Was he... happy?
no subject
Date: 2021-06-14 01:07 am (UTC)... Yeah. [Soft, and then stronger: ] Yeah, he was. They- they were.
[He reaches up and musses his hair, a nervous tic; his fingers pluck out a pebble of grey asphalt, and fiddle with it almost pointedly, like he's searching for a distraction.]
You're- [Wow, why is his mouth so dry? Has it ever been this dry in his life? What if he just dies of thirst, right here in the dining room? Could he do that, please?] -okay? With it?
no subject
Date: 2021-06-14 08:54 am (UTC)Yeah. [Like Mike, it’s soft. Then it’s stronger:] Yeah, of course. If they were happy, then that’s all that matters.
[She crosses her arms, still watching Mike. She can see he's nervous, but she still interprets it as him being embarrassed. She has no idea that he’s analyzing her.]
I guess this place gave them both the opportunity to be themselves. [Her thoughtful words are followed by a frown.]
Were you okay with it?
[Because you’re looking nervous there, kiddo.]
no subject
Date: 2021-06-15 03:25 pm (UTC)He nods too quickly.]
Yeah. I'm- it's great.
[His face has gone even warmer, up to the tips of his ears, and he looks over at the scuffed, dinged wall behind their chairs.]
My friend said- [It's weird, calling Wade his friend. He was family, more like a dad than their own sometimes is.] It's better when he's from, in the future. When we're adults. Like, people can even get married and stuff.
[He flashes his eyes to Nancy for half a heartbeat, gauging something he's too anxious to name.]
no subject
Date: 2021-06-16 11:34 pm (UTC)Until now.]
And that's how it should be. Telling someone they can't marry because of who they love is bullshit. [She says. A smile brightens her features for just a second before changing into something more serious. More thoughtful.]
Is there... something else you want to tell me? You can talk to me... I promise.
[And if he gets defensive, she'll quickly fall back, make excuses. Argue again, probably.]
no subject
Date: 2021-06-20 04:11 am (UTC)Normally, he wouldn't think twice about lying, and especially not to Nancy. It's almost second nature, an instinct more than a habit. He could tell her she's crazy, stomp his way upstairs, and then- what? Go on dropping Will's hand every time they enter a room? Watch Nancy squint at him, infuriating and knowing, now that she's picked up the track? It's already all over his face, in the growing silence before his answer.]
Why do you think I don't want to go home?
[He scrunches even farther down in his chair, trying to make himself small. Even his voice, usually too loud for every situation, is uncharacteristically timid. This isn't the kid who fights monsters, or risks his life for his friends - it's the one who came home sobbing the night a body got pulled out of the quarry. It's the one who sat alone in a blanket fort every night for a year, lonely and paralyzed.]
Mom and Dad'll hate me.
CW: implied homophobia
Date: 2021-06-21 01:20 pm (UTC)Mike's words linger in the air -- in the silence of that dining room -- for longer than Nancy feels they should. She thinks about those words, feels the immense weight of them on her own heart and mind as she repeats them in her head. There's a sinking feeling present in her gut because she doesn't want to consider that Mike might be correct (to a degree). She doesn't want to believe that their parents might react with anger. With shock. She's scrambling, trying to guess how they might react based on past experiences. None of those experiences were ever quite as significant as this. She imagines their mother reacting with confusion, trying to understand but failing. She imagines both of them not taking the time to really listen, saying things in the heat of the moment that only serve to wound. And Nancy would be there, trying to pick up all the pieces.
There's no disgust present in Nancy, no horror reflected in her wide and contemplative gaze. Somehow, this news makes sense to her. It explains her brother's anger, his awkwardness. There's a look on her face, like someone who has finally solved some great puzzle. It's mixed with pity and sadness; he suddenly looks so much younger. So powerless and unsure.]
They... [She cuts herself off, sighs. For a moment, she just looks at him all scrunched up in that chair, and wishes she could do more to ease his fears.] They won't hate you. They don't always understand, but they love and care about you. They're not going to stop loving you just because you're gay. I know they won't.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-22 04:35 am (UTC)[He's floundering, losing grip of the plot with each sputtered word. Part of him wants to refute Nancy, to rail back against their parents and heap proof on her that they don't care, that they haven't cared in ages. But instead, he finds himself hanging onto her words, starting to imagine them. What if? What if she's right, and there's actually a future like that? His parents' love and this incredible, terrifying thing that he's discovered here?
Mike sniffs, and his nose aches. He hadn't realized his eyes were damp.]
No one back home's gonna know the difference. You know what it's like.
no subject
Date: 2021-06-30 01:09 am (UTC)I like girls too, he says, and she nods. The confusion on her face is fleeting, quickly replaced by an expression of understanding. She takes that little fragment of information and tucks it away somewhere safe, with everything else she's found out over the past couple of days. Everything he tells her is safe. Protected. She won't tell a soul, but she will surely defend him against anyone who finds out and reacts adversely. Next to Mike, with his flushed face and his floundering, Nancy is a calming presence.]
Yeah. I do. There are a lot of assholes back home, and they won't even try to understand. Thankfully some of us grow up, and we realize that people are all different. We're... diverse. The assholes who don't grow up, who hold on to these... narrow viewpoints? They aren't even worth knowing.
[She reaches out to place her hand on top of his in the hopes that it might help. She sees him wringing his fingers, sees his discomfort and restlessness, and she wants to help ease his mind. She knows she can't take all of his anxieties away, but she hopes she can help at least.]
You have my support. And you'll have mom and dad's support too. And if anyone gives you any shit, they'll have me to deal with.
[And she means that with all her heart. Nancy's wrath is not something the narrow-minded people of Hawkins want to face.]